The Life and Times of a Nymph's Champions Administrator

(With apologies to Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom)

First thing in the morning, after these glorious creatures wake, they start the search for caffeine laden drinks. Watch as they yawn and stretch, hunting their prey stealthily. Having achieved the first goal of the day, they turn on their computers to connect to the rest of the world. Look, one is taking some kind of pill to kill the pain that he knows is coming. The roar echoes through the land as they realize that they have over 100 emails from Facebook. Watch as they start deleting all these emails. This process can take as long as half an hour.

Now, they log into this community. Ah, see there, one has 56 messages in his inbox. The growl he lets loose lets us know he is aggravated. There is a complaint message telling him that they are not running things correctly. He angrily growls as he types, “If you can come up with a better way, please tell us how. We look forward to making our lives easier and appreciate all the help we can get.” No answer ever comes. Don’t the cubs realize that this tribe was created for them? To make getting the meat organized? If they would just vocalize their complaints and help to solve those problems, instead of just complaining. The tribe was created as a family, one that enjoys a game together. The rules were created to make it easier on everyone, not to keep some beneath others, but to organize the monster slayings so that everyone has a chance at the meat. It was created as a democracy, where even the lowliest of cubs could have a say, without a chance of reprisal. If they would just make suggestions, instead of complaints, the tribe would run smoothly.

He reads the next message. It is a complaint that there are no monsters to slay. He checks out the subgroup page to find out if the three monsters he left there last night are slain. Nope, they are still alive. He sends out the link to the main wall of the subgroup, wondering why people need to be spoon fed simple instructions. He starts to grumble and realizes the others are aggravated, too. They have just received the same message. Do the cubs not follow directions? They form a huddle and start the festival of complaints. The cubs aren’t listening, one says. How do I find summoners if no one signs up to summon? Another says, “They complain that they are not friends, but there is a mass friend add thread.” One of them has to go to work and hasn’t even scratched the surface of his messages, but he has duties to others. He will use some of his precious working time to finish his duty to the tribe.

One lioness has young to take care of, she must feed her newborn. She will check back later to do more, but she isn’t sure if she can. She loves the tribe, but her newborn comes first. After all, this is a future monster slayer and must be protected.

One of the newer lions is howling in complaint, none of his cubs have even posted anything in any of his threads. “Where are my cubs?” he howls. The others want to help, maybe give him some of their cubs to look after. He is angry, and wants to tell all his cubs to find a new tribe. The newest of the lionesses echoes his complaint. People want monsters to slay, but do not want to participate. Is it too much to ask that they help to take care of the tribe? After all, we cannot do it alone, we must have some help.

The lioness in charge of the day’s special monsters chimes in. People have signed up to summon these specialties, and now are not ready. Why don’t the cubs want to help? Why are they being selfish with the meat? Shouldn’t the tribe function as a family, everyone helping everyone achieve their goals? She asks the main ones to help her by summoning for the ones that didn’t answer the call.

The other special monster lion has several lined up to summon the other specialty meat. But, when it comes time to summon, again, they can’t be found. “Where are my cubs?” he cries. “They signed up to summon days ago. Now, when it is time to show their teeth, they are nowhere to be found. Are they playing hide and seek? Are they hurt, dying, dead?” The others circle around him and help him to supply the tribe with specialty meat.

The lioness in charge of the rarest and most prized meat, the green, pipes in. “How am I supposed to supply the tribe with meat, when there is no one to supply it? Am I supposed to create it out of thin air?” The others again come to her aid, after all, we are one big tribe and we are working for the betterment of our cubs.

One has been injured, he needs to lie down, but he fights through the pain to finish responding to needless messages. The other, jobless, continues on his own. He checks the messages of those that say they can summon. One of the five is actually online! He tracks them down, asking them if they would like to summon. They reply, “Yes.” As he pulls up his master list of everyone’s friend add link, army add link, and monster links, the reply comes back, “I can’t, my timer hasn’t run out.” He says, “Thanks anyway, I’ll put you back on the list.”
He starts to play the game that brought this whole pride together. He gets three hits on the monster he wants to slay, when a chat message pops up. It says that there are no monsters up to slay. He copies the link to the monster he is working on, and pastes it, and replies, “Here ya go! Happy Slaying!” He gets another hit in. Then, another chat message pops up. He howls with displeasure. Someone is having a problem, and he needs to help. Reluctantly leaving his dying prey, he goes to help the cub.

By this time, it is noon, and he hunts for some kind of sustenance, because although there is dying monster in front of him, imaginary food is not life-sustaining.

The one who went to work, doesn’t even eat, he is busy with the messages he has received, trying, in vain, to catch up with the work of the tribe.

The one with the newborn has found some time to get some meat up for her tribe to kill, it takes a while to find a summoner, but she eventually does. Usually, there is none, and she is forced to supply the monster on her own. Not what the tribe was founded on, but a supply must be given, or her tribe will perish.

While the other has been busy stuffing his face, four more messages have arrived that need his attention. Howl! The prey is so close! He responds to the two that say they are ready to summon - they aren’t. He responds to the two that say there are no monsters to slay – he gives them the links, again. Finally! He can deliver the killing stroke to the beast! It is dead. The howl of pain can be heard as far as 50 miles away.
He then starts the search for more summoners, he must have new prey! He checks to see if any of the cubs who have signed up to summon are on. Ah! There is one. He chat messages them, are they ready to summon? Pain! Agony! The answer is no! Finally! He has found two who can summon, they may not be next on the list, but at least they are ready!

The hurt one is back! He just received a message from the leading lioness of the tribe. Someone has summoned out of turn! She is mad! She has told the cubs too many times not to summon out of turn! It throws off the schedule and is not fair to everyone on the lists! She sends out a message stating the rules, again, for the 1,000th time. She did not read the message first, to see if it could be taken the wrong way, and it has. The cubs are angry at her words, for they think that she is yelling at them. That starts a wave of angry messages. How dare she? She is acting like a spoiled child who is not getting her way! She needs to chill! She’s a witch! A ball is rolling downhill, now, one that will take the rest of the day to calm down. Everyone is complaining and no one is slaying. The monsters will get away. Ah, well, we must get everyone back together as a family. Family comes first. The tribe must be preserved.

Her young one has been acting up, he needs constant supervision. She is constantly keeping one eye on him, and one eye on her cubs of the tribe. She believes in family, not just the ones that are related, but all of her tribe. She is constantly barraged with messages and requests, and sometimes she blows up, not meaning to. She gets no rest between her home duties and the duty to her tribe. She only gets peace and quiet while her young one is at school. Her apology is quickly accepted by the others, for they understand what she is going through. After all, she created this tribe, using up her time for no other reason but her love of the game that brought the tribe together.

The one who was at work comes home to a whirlwind of messages, mostly complaints. He immediately joins the others in trying to calm the storm. One of the lionesses that also works all day comes home and is immediately stuck in the middle. She just wants to play a game! Her young are acting up; she must calm them down before she tackles the task of getting monsters for her group. She can only dedicate a few hours to the group. If everyone was participating like they should, it would run smoothly without her, but she has the same complaints as the others.
One of the newer lions says that his group is functioning and almost everyone is participating. The others look at him, ready to pounce, and he realizes he missed something. He goes to his inbox and sees what has transpired this day. He wonders, out loud, why his group can function so smoothly, and others are having this problem. Again, the others are on the verge of tearing him apart, but they calm down and realize he is trying to sympathize with them.

The lion leaders get together in the chat room. It seems that everyone has calmed down. They admonish the head lioness for her rash words and suggest she give the cubs a chance to calm down before addressing them again. She is calm, now, and so are the others. It is then that they realize that it is late. The one with the newborn puts her young to bed, as does the other one with toddlers.

Finally, the day comes to a close. It has been eventful. That is when the administrators realize that they didn’t get to play the game that brought them all together in the first place. Well, there is always tomorrow.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License